So the biggest surprise that came this spring was the car ride home from a trip to Boston with my dad. Instead of getting a new pet, making plans for parties, or even a vacation to New Hampshire, my father’s news consisted of a divorce. Now it is time to explain.
My father married a woman in 1999 and let’s just say she wasn’t the nicest poisoned apple. She was rude, unkind, and had outrageous ways of being a whore. I kid you not when I say that she laid nude in a bathtub full of rice for a Survivor audition tape and then had my sister and I scoop it into bags to be donated to her church. YEAH. She’s wonderful, no? Even better, she hunted around, for the same tape, in a full leather bodysuit in her one foot of woods and then proceeded to pretend that she was cooking fish in rice on a fire outside when in reality, she was stirring around our dead and frozen pet fish from years before along with rice. I swear, you would love her just as much as we do. That’s the part that upset us almost as much as when she became pregnant twice: the fact that my father had never questioned if my sister and I had liked her. In the end, we learned to get over it all and use computers to escape the reality of the visitations of my father’s house each week.
So you would imagine that my sister and I would be absolutely ecstatic that we get to have our father to ourselves now and never have to see this crazy woman again, but guess again. My father is not exactly the best person in the world. Yes, like every person on this Earth, he has his flaws, but then some. I have trust issues with my father due to his infidelity to my mother along with his inability to tell the truth. While I guess you can say that I am acting unfair in all of these situations, I want to tell you that while my father is the coolest guy on Earth to go to an amusement park and share racks of barbequed ribs with, but he has his ways. My father doesn’t like to answer to any issues at hand and finds that he always needs to be right, while at the same time carrying the patience of a newborn and ready to complain in an instant. Mind you, I love my father, I truly due, but sometimes I wish he would learn to take responsibility and get to know it because I need a father figure; not a beer buddy.
Now my father is looking into a house to buy while he is still living with his wife. Yes, the divorce really hasn’t even begun. I laugh because I know that this marriage will end like a war, but not any kind of war- more like a World War. Both my dad and his wife are the biggest moochers on the face of this planet and are the most selfish. I expect to hear a fight about something absolutely ridiculous like the wedding pictures. I’m ready for it. So for probably another year, my father will be going through the greatest battle of his life, which I hope will lead to his greatest reality check. I only hope that my father doesn’t expect me to do some crazy celebration dance for him or to talk trash about anything in front of his face. No, I have a talent or saying nothing to him and I will continue it. Yes, I will give him support when he needs it and listen when he needs someone, but I will not tell him anything I do not believe.
So this is my spring. I really do not like the way it’s flowing so far because it. Not only do I have a problem personally with my father, but I really do not agree with his belief of marriage.
I don’t know how you feel about the commitment that is involved in a marriage. You could say that you find it very strong and hope that it lasts forever, but I don’t believe that it’s enough. Truthfully, if you want a strong and permanent relationship with someone, you need to make it happen. I’m not saying that you should force yourself into a marriage forever, but rather never rush in. We have grown up into a society that values it’s disposable life and whenever we get sick of something, we’re okay because we can always make a replacement. Well, it shouldn’t be that way because now people look at marriage as a giant party and if the first one didn’t go the way you wished, you could always have another with the help of a divorce lawyer. It makes me so angry to see people just freely run around with multiple marriages such as my father’s side of the family. My father, his mother, and his father all had three marriages. When will this trend of crazy-untruthful commitments end?
How do I feel that this could be fixed? Well, first off, I think people should date freely without making too strong of relationships unless they truly mean it. For example, you should not be dating some girl for a month and immediately say you love her and start carving your names into trees saying “forever”. That’s just your ticket to going nowhere. And while it may seem romantic for two seconds, the reality is that you are rushing unless you have known this person for your entire life. Now when you should decide to get married you should not just think about the party of the wedding, but more of the intensity of your devotion and finding the true meaning of your vows. If you find someone who only wants to make a simple wedding and doesn’t care how it’s done as long as you are next to them, then you have the right person, or so I hope.
When you get into these arrangements, you really need to be prepared. I’m not saying that you should know every aspect about your future or possible partner, but instead you should have a strong background of living together so you understand how your lives would run, and have close relationships with each other’s families because they are going to become your own. Again, I’m not saying that you should be crazy together all the time, but when you chose someone to be with, you need to be able to know that you are going to be yourself and have yourself loved. I don’t want to see people with multiple personalities in front of their partners and then in front of everyone else just because they don’t feel comfortable. You need to be yourself and find someone to love you entirely, but be willing to make small changes as to how you keep your toothpaste if you are in this relationship for the long run.
I do believe that it is possible for people to find their true loves and be together as to what seems like an eternity, and all it takes is a bit of work, love, and devotion to it all. I just wonder if I’ll find the right person, you know?
